The Introvert Confounds Innocence by Michael P Michaud – *EXTRACT*

The Introvert Confounds Innocence by Michael P Michaud – *EXTRACT*



I’m so happy to be able to share an extract of the marvellously unique tale that is The Introvert Confounds Innocence by Michael P Michaud…..


Here’s a little about the book first….




The Introvert, our unnamed protagonist is now living with Donna and his 4 year old son, Toby and of course his dog Molly. 

He’s got a subscription to a child psychology magazine that is helping him to try and make sense of children’s minds, but he also uses it when thinking of people and how they behave, or how he thinks they behave. The introvert, thinks a lot!

He and Donna have a neighbour, Hayley who has a dog called Mr Muggles. When he sees her being rough with the dog, his thoughts turn dark…..he really is strong on animal rights.

When Hayley’s boyfriend abuses her, and comes to the introverts home to wait for her to come home….there is an altercation and some cleaning up to do….

When Josh is reported missing, an English detective begins investigating, with an odd accent and way of speaking, confusing the introvert at times. Is he under suspicion?

With young Toby being bullied at school, the introverts thoughts begin to get dark ….but can he resist making Timmy red and open? 

This is a dark, bizarre and humorous tale,  that will make you cringe but laugh at the same time….totally unique and I can’t wait to find out what happens next….


And without further ado…..Here’s the extract……


This is an extract from The Introvert Confounds Innocence when the introvert first meets his new coworker, a legally-blind little person named Gordon.


“So you can see, after all?” I said.


“Not very well, but I have these to tell me what’s on the screen.” Gordon motioned to his earphones, and while I had originally thought that maybe he just had those to listen to music, it turns out that he’d installed a special program into his computer that helped him navigate through its contents. He also had a special braille keyboard and I could see that he was already typing information into some sort of spreadsheet. I started thinking that in many ways Gordon was like a bat because he was able to rely on his other senses and get the job done just as well as the rest of us. I was thinking this about the bat, and then I decided to share it with him because I thought he might be interested in the comparison, but in- stead he just stared back at me with a funny look in his face.


“A bat?” he asked, turning in my direction. “You fuck- ing serious?”


“Yes,” I said.


“That because I’m black?”


“No,” I said.


Then I saw him shake his head for the second time and he started clicking a few things on his keyboard and then he picked up the phone and made a call. The next thing I heard he was on the phone with someone named Mrs. Bennett, and I could hear him talking about the benefits of our new, healthy, vacuum technology which he must have learned at orientation, and he was on the phone for an awfully long time and he was even laughing and talking about Europe, which had no connection to vacuums at all, and soon after that I heard him taking down her order.


“Congratulations,” I said, after he’d hung up the phone.




“If you sell vacuums that easily, then you will surely make the bosses happy, and that usually makes for easier days at work.”


“Oh, it does, does it?”


“Yes,” I said. “Also, we run contests sometimes and you may be able to earn extra money or prizes if you win one of the contests.”


“Thanks,” he said, only he was still looking at me strangely, so I tried to think about some of the things I’d said and if anything was odd, but nothing came to mind.


Only then I started thinking about the bat comment, and it occurred to me in that moment that most bats are black, or at least that’s how they’re depicted in cartoons and on Halloween decorations, so I thought that maybe somehow this had offended him, even though I hadn’t actually considered the color of his skin at all, but I was thinking about how bats have heightened sensory perception which allows them to hone in on bugs for food and to fly quickly around stalagmites and other obstacles, and I figured that if bats could do that with bugs and stalagmites that maybe Gordon could do the same sort of thing with special phones and keypads. Then I thought about the January issue of The Child Psychology Magazine about being sufficiently happy, and I thought that maybe he wasn’t even sufficiently black to consider himself black, and that perhaps that was why he was offended. I was thinking of all of this in my mind and then I said it, hoping Gordon might better understand my earlier bat comment. Instead he just looked at me in the same way that he’d done before.


“Sufficiently black?” he said.


“Yes,” I said.


Still he just stared at me. “You fucking with me?”


“No,” I said.


He stared at me for a while longer. “You eat a lot of paste as a kid?”


“No,” I said.


“You sure?”


“Yes,” I said.


After this we didn’t speak anymore, and Gordon went back to pushing buttons on his specially designed devices.


I had often found it difficult communicating with my colleagues, and this seemed to be another one of those times. And while I thought that it might be different with Gordon, it turns out that people were all very much the same, even little people who might be dwarfs, and those who were sufficiently blind and sufficiently black.


Thank you to Anne Cater of Random Things Tours for the opportunity to share this extract. 



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